21 Things I Learned By 21

Twenty-one is supposed to be some landmark year for us Americans: it’s supposed to be crazy—like Eurotrip-meets-Vegas crazy—and unforgettable—but only to be completely forgotten because you’ve had one too many tequila shots the night before. Call me jaded, but it seemed like a horrible way to spend a milestone.

Almost one year later and I haven’t a single regret about skipping out on this supposed rite of passage. It’s already been a year. Three-hundred sixty-five days, marked by a few downs, a steady stream of ups, and a pounding desire to just keeping going forward. Ah, the sweet sound of 22, and in just a few days too…

But one last look before I never turn back again, because 21 has been one of the best years yet: I’ve not only experienced the most, but learned so much, too:

1. Moisturizer and a good lash curler are all a girl really needs. Re: how to look beautiful in a heartbeat.

2. Water is the cure-all.

3. You’ll always be more critical about yourself than everyone else.

4. Say yes more.

5. … but also exercise the right to say no.

6. Finding the perfect pair of jeans requires patience and persistence. It’s trying at times (okay, all the time), but once you find the perfect fit, life’s all fairy tales and rainbows. It’s life-changing. I’ll be the first to admit that those moments in the changing rooms are incredibly frustrating and brutal on ego/self-confidence, but when you find the one, you find the one.

7. Strapless bras are the bane of my existence. Strapless necklines also don’t work with my shape. They don’t work. Period. I’ve learned my lesson.

9. Beauty sleep is called beauty sleep for a reason. I was all, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead!” for the longest time. I still am – habits die hard – but do as I say and not as I do. Sleep is vital to your overall physical, emotional and mental health. A few days of insomnia are okay, but night prowling for months at a time? I feel it. My body feels it, my skin feels it, and my mind suffers for it.

9. Writing everyday makes me happy.

10. Do what you love, and love what you do; lack of passion is fatal. You can tell me I’m young and naive because I’m 21, but I can turn around and tell you this: so long as you have one, consistent thing to fall back to when you need it most, you can get through anything. Luckily I love what I do, but if your day job isn’t your dream, take something up on the side that will make you feel alive until you’re ready to take a chance to pursue something different. I’m not sure I’d be as happy as I am now if I didn’t have dance in my life.

11. Don’t be afraid of a bold lipstick. Part of the reason why I’ve always had a minimalist beauty philosophy – apart from sheer laziness – is because I’d rather not have something superficial outshine who I am or even at a shallower level, what I really look like. I sort of have this irrational fear that if I dress too wild or wear blaring makeup, it’ll get in the way of someone paying attention to who I really am. Here’s the thing: bold is okay from time to time. Sometimes I want to be the girl with the red lipstick. I like who she is and how she gets people staring.

12. It’s okay to slack off. Actually, it’s healthy to. I’m a workaholic by nature who needs to learn to relax. Chill out. Breathe for a moment.

13. Friends are the family you choose. And the five you associate with the most are a direct reflection of who you are. Friends are everything.

14. Self-respect is paramount. Without it, you’re nothing. That’s it.

15. And on that note, respect is everything. I will always choose respect over love, because without respect, there is no such thing as a lasting or true love (both platonic and romantic).

16. Travel. Ideally, I’d love to leave my mark around the world, and do it on my own (or with one other person max). But there’s adventure everywhere in the next town over, another city…

17. Speak your intention.

18. I don’t have to justify anything to anyone. Why I love something, why I bought something, why I’m in a relationship with someone, etc. is my conscious decision. It’s not to say that outside opinion isn’t important—it is—but I’ve learned to accept that how I feel is of utmost importance.

19. It’s okay to not be good at everything right away. I’m still working on this one: I always have to remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect at something to do it, nor do I have to be perfect at something to love it. All good things take time—there’s a beauty in that.

20. Think less, feel more. It’s taken a while, and it’s still in working progress. But once you let the guards down and the walls fall, once you abandon preconceptions of what you’re supposed to do or be like, things—people, opportunities, etc.—literally come knocking at the door. It’s a beautiful thing allow yourself to be open.

21. Every year gets better and better.

I can’t wait for 22.

.   .   .

xx