Single on Valentine’s Day

So we all know the fourteenth of every February has been, nationally (read: corporately) deemed Valentine’s Day, and that I, for some unknown reason, am completely, utterly, and inexplicably in love with the holiday. I shouldn’t be, by societal standards. I’m a single girl. I’m supposed to hate it; I was, after all, bred in a culture where things like 50 First Dates are supposed to happen to everyone. I don’t thrive upon secret crushes, nor do I believe in the color pink. It’s no wonder both sexes say I think like a guy.

I’m hardly bitter about being single on Valentine’s Day; I’ve gone my long, eighteen years sans another half (but I do have  a Valentine every year though; four was the magic number of last year’s Valentine’s Day) quite happily. Cue “Single Ladies” whilst dolling up with something resembling a freakum dress—I’m quite ready for this lovely day! Ordering thousand-calorie desserts sprinkled with something pink, dressing up, and wearing bits of pink here and there with a dash of sparkle is excused without a second thought. I’m toying around with the idea of donning this little heart-print blouse on the capital V-day, all for a bit of ironic fun. Of course spending an entire day with a romantic sweetheart is adorable, but is it necessary? Not entirely. In fact, not at all—I would much rather spend it with the girls.

Valentine’s Day is not a reminder of this self-conjured thought of your inability to attract men (or women, whichever sex you choose). It is but a day in the year that so happens to fall on the fourteenth of February, but if we insist on making it significant, then, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of the freedom and independence you have as a self-sufficient woman. All you need is you: you alone hold the key to your aspirations, happiness, and successes. No (wo)man is necessary to feel whole or empowered.

Is it depressing to feel alone, or left out, when all other ladies have little bouquets and kisses awaiting them? Perhaps. It all depends entirely on your perspective. I know one too many girls who loathe Valentine’s Day—and all things associated with it—with their entire being. They mope, gorging themselves with tubs of Ben & Jerry’s or rolls of cookie dough as they dig out all self-imagined faults and allow themselves to submit to their insecurities. All the while watching sappy romance films, one after the other. I suppose I can attempt to empathize, yet those of you who have been following ABC for a while or actually know me (!) know that I value my independence above all else. I have never harbored any desire to have a boyfriend for that very reason; being single allows for so much more freedom. Being coquettish is allowed! And that, my loves, is quite entertaining in itself!

More importantly, you’re selling both yourself and Valentine’s Day short if you revolve the holiday around having that one special someone. It’s about love. Send an e-mail and dark chocolates to your mom; a card to your dad. Sprinkle chocolate kisses on your roommates’ bed. Leave adorable valentines—the kind you used to by in grade school!—under people’s doors. Send boxes of Lindt or Ferrero Rocher to your boss and immediate co-workers. You’ll feel good just by being a sweetheart, knowing you just added a bit of sweetness (literally and figuratively) to someone’s day. And by the law of karmic synergy, it’ll be returned to you soon enough.

Thus, for you single ladies out there, embrace your independence. Take advantage of it; wear red and pull out your freakum dress. Take a bit of time to coif the hair and do the makeup. Go out on Valentine’s Day à la the Sex and the City girls *pre-marriage), and just enjoy yourself.

.   .   .

x

P.S.: For more on self-love and empowerment, read this and this.