I know the feels, Virginia (Woolf).
1. It’s been a while since I last performed—which explains the brewing anxiousness that led up to the minute we parked the car in front of our friend’s studio. My partner (and teacher) and I debuted his newest choreography! I didn’t suck!
But I also didn’t do great either.
In fact, the more I watch the video, the more I cringe (being a perfectionist certainly doesn’t help things). But here’s the kicker, a sign of progress: I don’t entirely hate it. Or myself, for that matter. If anything, I’m excited to do it again just to prove to myself and everyone else (who cares) that I can do it better. It’s been a while since I did this. It’s been a stressful few months. Breathe, Kim, I need to remind myself. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to be imperfect.
And that sliver of change—the allowance, the start of self-acceptance—that’s what I’m most proud of.
2. My mom came back from a three-week trip to Taiwan and Japan and came back with all the sheet masks, pretty blotting papers, and little treats a girl could ask for. I’m pretty sure I’ve gained at least eight pounds since her flight landed, but at least my skin is looking pretty damn fantastic.
(Also: I’m glad the U.S. is finally starting to recognize how incredible the Asian beauty market is. I’ve been sheet masking since I was a toddler and it took two decades for people to see that as an acceptable thing.)
3. The book-buying thing hasn’t stopped. Going through my book list and ordering a few at a time is immensely satisfying. The problem now, however, is where to begin. Do I want to read Vivan Gornick, or more Didion? Aliza Licht or Beauvoir? Classics, or modern-day fiction? The green cover or the blue? AH.
4. I don’t care how passé white nails may be. I love them in summer, I love them on nights out, I love them for performing; I just can’t get over how white nails punctate every hand gesticulation.
5. Zoe Saldana’s husband takes her last name and tells hers he doesn’t “give a shhheeeetttt” for what people think. Go him. Go Zoe. So much YES.
. . .
xx
Your turn. Thoughts?