Babes! It’s your favorite baby blogger (as in: sporadic, small-town e-writer; not the genre) reporting with life hacks to get you through—and more importantly, out of—a bad date. I almost baby barfed (I don’t have baby fever…or do I? Biology’s a-callin’!) at just how millennial I sound. Hacks? How-tos? Elite Daily-style reporting?

I’m throwing the towel in.

Cosmo as it may be, I’m writing this for my recently single girlfriends—especially the brave ones venturing into the world of online and app dating. I’ve heard the pros: You’ve got more control over who you get in touch with, and your access to singles is seemingly infinite. More options, more dates, greater chance of finding The One. All good, right?

That is, until you find yourself stuck on a few too many mediocre or just-plain-horrible dates. Here’s how to avoid them—and get out of bad dates, too:

Don’t say ‘yes’ just to say ‘yes.’

Just because someone asks you out doesn’t mean you’re obligated agree to it. Your time and energy are finite, and thus should be valued as invaluable. Ask yourself why you want to be dating: are you looking for a hookup, or are you in want of a relationship? Clearly defining the what—and more importantly, the why—will help you find your way.

Don’t say yes because you’re lonely. Don’t say yes because you want to feel wanted. Don’t say yes until you can be comfortable with who you are and being on your own, because until then, the only relationship you should be working on is the one you have with yourself.

Don’t let him/her pick you up.

Uber if you must. As chivalrous as it seems to have your date scoop you up, decline politely. There’s no reason to put your life into the hands of some stranger who might turn out to be a psychopath. (You can tell I binge-watched Criminal Minds and Law & Order: SVU all through my tween years, but common sense also implies that you’re essentially locking yourself into a metal box the moment you enter into a stranger’s car.)

Not too concerned about safety? (I’m about to Amazon-Prime you some pepper spray.) Keep in mind that unless you really connect with your Tinder date, one of a few things can happen: (a) You make great small talk, but run out of material for the actual date. Bad date ensues. (b) You can’t connect at all. The car ride is awkward. Now the date is even more uncomfortable. (c) YOU CAN’T LEAVE OR AVOID THE AWKWARD CONVOS OR SILENCE. When you’re the passenger, you lose the freedom to come and go (re: escape) as you please. Remember: you are Miss Ms. Independent.

Keep it casual.

The actual date, I mean. Grabbing coffee is the ideal situation: there’s no alcohol involved (safety), you can keep it under 20 minutes and not have it be weird, there’s plenty of eyewitnesses (safety again), and you can drink or nibble during silences without it being unnatural (again, safety: no need to order drank #3 just to keep occupied).

I sound like my mother.

But really: dinner, drinks, a movie, etc. are a no. They’re good in theory, but again: if you’re meeting with a complete stranger and want to avoid being stuck on a bad date or in a situation where you need to come up with an excuse to run, keep the actual activity light and non-committal.

Be understanding.

Don’t be quick to judge a book by its cover—but don’t force yourself to stick around if things are uncomfortable either. (Your time is money. Life is too short. Do people even say YOLO anymore?) Things are bound to be a little awkward in the beginning; he/she, like you, is probably apprehensive or nervous.

Keep it light. Let things go where they may. Too hippie for you? Too bad. If you go in with the mindset of defining the relationship (hookup, S.O.-to-be, etc.), there’s no room for flexibility. You’re meeting a stranger. You’re getting to know someone for who they are. When you approach things from the perspective of making a new friend, the date is bound to feel more natural.

Plus, the best (romantic) relationships often come from friendship. Trust.

Just be honest.

It takes guts to lay it straight, sure, but think of it this way: is it better to tell it like it is, or leave someone hanging? Honesty’s the best policy despite the hurt it initially brings. It’s easy to see through feeble, cliche lies, and that is far worse.

Honesty, however, doesn’t mean that being rude is okay. Thank the other person for making the time to see you, but you don’t see this going where you thought it would. (Note: There’s a difference between saying you “just don’t see this going where you thought it would,” versus saying you “don’t,” period. Do not undermine yourself. Do not soften the blow. Would a man have to watch his words or second-guess himself? No.)

Don’t apologize, but do acknowledge that you don’t want to waste his/her time. Keep it short. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You do, however, owe your half of the bill.

If you have to make an excuse, make it a real one.

Or a believable one at least. The same tech that brought you your favorite swipe-left (or is it right?) app is bringing you your ticket out. There’s plenty of fake phone call apps, but the best so far is Gotta Go!.

You could also do it the old school way: employ a (reliable, willing) friend to ring you the moment you send the emergency text. The good thing is that you’ll have someone who knows your whereabouts (SVU fans, y’all get me). My tip? Ask your mom: she is one woman you can always count on.

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Questions, concerns, comments? Leave them in the contact form. I’ve been going through your emails and am over the moon that people (though I do get the occasional bot) take the time to send me something—so thank you!

xx