Gym Shorts, A Theory

As athleisure continues to infiltrate our every day until it simply becomes leisure, I bring to you a theory, ode, and thesis all in one blog post:

Gym shorts are the new denim shorts.

And in a heatwave, they’re the only viable option.

I’m not writing off denim cut-offs; few things are more iconic than a pair of Daisy Dukes, and there’s still a time and place for them. But as a woman entering her late twenties, I find myself choosing the more practical option. Comfort is king—and if you can look like a cute, stylistically confused Sporty Spice while you’re at it, you’ve achieved the ultimate balance between summer survival and sacrifice.

If I need to convince you to try them, you’re a better person than I. (What are you doing here, anyway?) My excuse is that I’ve spent more than half my life in Spandex, and therefore am allergic to things without stretch or worse, bear no give. Still, no matter who you are, denim cut-offs are the most uncomfortable bottoms a woman could wear in the height of summer. Half an hour walking in the sun or sitting outside and your thighs/derrière will have consumed 1-2 inches of fabric.

A hard pass to thick, unforgiving cotton when it’s 90 degrees or higher.

Enter gym shorts (athletic shorts, basketball shorts, soccer shorts; all are fair game). They’re breathable and sweat-wicking—or at the very least, comfortable. There’s no unwanted bunching, no constant adjusting, no shimmying in and out of a waistband that grows tighter with every climb up the thermometer. Gym shorts, in summer, equate to freedom.

There’s also the opportunity to be creative. Years ago I took the look literally (sports bra, off-shoulder or cropped sweatshirt, sneakers), but maturity has granted me the courage to loosely interpret the Athletic Short. I tend to go the extreme route—make it as feminine as possible—because I’ve essentially been bestowed permission to make tiny tops socially acceptable. From my mother, I learned both the importance and safety of juxtaposition. Legs or shoulders, never both. Offset bodycon with baggy, always. These were rules I hated on principle but appreciated in theory, and when applied to gym shorts, work splendidly.

The key is not to fuss about the shorts. I recommend sifting through your brother’s or boyfriend’s closet, but if you’d prefer not to (or simply don’t know where to start), try Umbro to achieve a classic, athletic vibe; Eric Emanuel for fashion over function (merely because of the price tag and exclusivity); and Patagonia Baggies as your practical, feel-good option.

I pair mine with tiny TLK or Reformation tops, dainty jewelry, and to make the final look even more confounding, slip into a pair of wooden clogs. Add a micro bag that holds just the essentials—credit card, license, keys, universal balm, face mist—and go out into the world unfettered.

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xx