A Valentine’s Day gift guide from someone whose expressed love language is gift-giving.

Understanding your love languages—how you give and receive love—and how those you love (romantically and platonically) is hardly the be-all-end-all to nurturing successful relationships, but it’s certainly a step toward nourishing them. I’m no expert (there’s a book on that), but I’ve been told that gift-giving is one of my fortes. Who am I to ignore the obviously unbiased opinion of recipients of gifts, from me?

Relationship advice is difficult to offer when you’re navigating a long-distance situation (perhaps not so gracefully, but luckily, my partner is patient), but what I can offer are a few ideas on what to gift your Valentine. Friend, family, lover, whoever you want to shower with affection in one week’s time, or even better—any time and always.

Words of Affirmation

If verbally articulating the sentiments is difficult or feels disingenuous (it won’t, if it’s not), write to them. Write a love letter, pen an inscription on the first page of a book that reminds you of them, leave a series of rose-colored sticky notes on all the things they touch throughout their daily routine. Remind them of how wonderful, powerful, exquisite, and loved they are.

If you’re comfortable in talking through it all, reserve a few hours for the We’re Not Really Strangers Couples game or Relationship expansion pack. Keep a couple of Kin Euphorics or Ghia Apértif on ice (Avaline is lovely if you drink alcohol and prefer a cleaner rosé); set the mood with a candle.

Acts of Service

What is something they need or need help with? Daily acts of thoughtfulness are what count—and for Valentine’s Day, showing them that this isn’t just a 24-hour display is bound to mean more than any grand gesture. Perhaps they’re exhausted from being and doing everything at work; deep clean their space and make it feel like a calm escape. (Bonus points if you light incense or candle as the final touch; it adds a sensorial element to creating peace of mind.)

Or, in addition to preparing a romantic, home-cooked dinner, portion extra servings so they have meals sorted for the following week. (Inka makes gorgeous food containers that they can keep forever; label each box with a love note using sticky notes that complement the Inka trim.)

Have a cup of coffee waiting for them in the morning (don’t forget a glass straw if you know they never let the brew touch their teeth. It’s the little things!)—and keep doing it from Valentine’s Day onward. If you don’t live together, fret not: consider gifting them a Nespresso machine or coffee maker with a timer. In simplifying their day-to-day, you’re showing them you notice it all—and that you’re there to support them no matter what.

Receiving Gifts

The possibilities are endless and entirely subjective—so might I interest you in things I would love to receive, or gifts I’ve been given and treasure with all my heart? Ahead, a few suggestions:

• A first-edition copy of their favorite book, or one written by their favorite author. Another alternative (since those can get pricy): a Taschen coffee table book on a topic they’re completely obsessed with.
• A set of café-worthy cups with matching saucers to honor—and elevate—their at-home caffeine ritual.
• Silk loungewear from Lunya, and make it a washable set because you truly love them. It’s something you know they’ve eyed in Instagram ads but passed on, thinking it was too precious to splurge on.
• A handbag, but only if you know their style well. Manu Atelier is beautiful, By Far is of the moment, Cuyana is practical yet classic.
• Skincare they’re dreamt of trying, or are afraid to repurchase because the good stuff (sometimes) doesn’t come cheap: UBeauty for the skin connoisseur or industry insider, Augustinus Bader for the fashion lovers (or if they have dry skin), Crème de la Mer (and if they have oilier, combination skin, go for The Moisturizing Soft Cream) if they’re into traditional luxe, Good Light if you want to surprise them with something new.
• A set of swoon-worthy cookware—or a Beast blender. Form and function, because they deserve to have it all.

Quality Time

Set up a surprise date (brunch, lunch, or dinner at their favorite restaurant or the latest, must-go place)… only it’s not with you (yet!), but with the adored, far-away friends they never get to see.

Take a class together: try learning how to cook vegan, creating dishes traditional to their household or heritage, crafting ceramics, making incense, even. Indulge in hobbies you share, or discover something new side by side.

Or (budget and schedule permitting, that is), book a staycation where you can be alone together. Cozy up in the hotel robes for the entirety of your time away, or plan a full-blown itinerary to do all the things you never have time to do. Either way, bring a disposable camera. Document these precious moments.

Physical Touch

A massage may seem too expected, but it’s always well-received (if physical touch is what they crave). An at-home, full-body experience—I suggest having Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil or Nécessaire’s body oil on hand—is decadent, though far from the only avenue of expression. Never underestimate a concentrated session: a good head, shoulder, foot, or hand massage shows an earnest attempt at de-stressing knots, an act of care that can feel more intimate than going straight for the sensual route.

Other ideas: wash their hair. Massage their scalp, lavish them with all the treatments, finish it with a blowout. (Don’t forget a heat protectant!) Run a milk bath and watch a film together, then wrap them up in a plush bathrobe. Whatever the gift, shower them with a complete sensorial experience.

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xx