Spring Awakening

I struggle, still, to find the words to explain (or excuse?) the silence since my last post. Even with the conclusion of Derek Chauvin’s trial, things feel bleak: and to be honest, every step forward feels like it’s countered by two back. The rage is exhausting: I’m frustrated by the world and even more so by my inability to contribute in a meaningful, tangible way. I have the wherewithal to say something, but feel frozen. Even worse is the guilt that follows: I need a break, but who am I to turn away when so many cannot?

A light, though, has been working with Studio ATAO. The team’s dedication to education and social justice is a beacon of inspiration and motivation; the work they pour into creating comprehensive think pieces is admirable—and the array of resources offered is invaluable. If you’d like to join their community or contribute to their efforts, do!

And in the spirit of recognizing the good (and acknowledging the power of gratitude), here’s a list of a few more things that have brought joy amidst everything else:

LISTENING TO MUSIC

It sounds too banal, trivial even, that a few minutes a day could shift my entire mood—but as someone who grew up with music and suddenly abandoned it in favor of more “productive” things (podcasts seemed to be a better use of my time, for example), revisiting music is freeing. To start my day with a carefully curated playlist without someone else’s thoughts in my head and instead, feelings, feels good.

(By “carefully curated playlists,” I mean downloading an artist’s complete album and listening to it in the order in which the songs were intended for consumption. Yes, I still purchase entire albums off iTunes and prefer it over streaming. I’m still writing on a blog and not a Substack after all.)

HOMEMADE BUBBLE TEA

Really, it’s just instant boba with Trader Joe’s oat milk, but somehow it tastes better than a store-bought drink. (Likely because the DIY version is less sweet and warmer, which better suits my temperament—and personal preference.)

Also worthy of note is getting used to calling bubble tea “boba.” I wonder if it’s a (West) coastal colloquialism.

READING ONE BOOK A WEEK

… or at least a chapter a day. Some of my favorites since the start of this year include Linotte (Anaïs Nin’s childhood diary), Craft in the Real World, Yolk, A Breath of Life, and Tiger Writing.

COOKING IN LIEU OF POSTMATES

Truth be told: I never would’ve thought the sentiment could even cross my mind, but here I am, finally comprehending the joy (or quiet sanity) domesticity can bring. Granted, there are only three meals I can confidently make from scratch, but they’re a source of simple, delectable comfort. I’m a creature of habit, after all.

UPHOLDING A MORNING RITUAL

Make coffee, listen to music (and maybe, dance around while waiting for the French press to do its thing), read, outline tasks and to-dos in my bullet journal first—then start my workday. It’s a string of simple habits that anchor the weekdays with intention.

VISITING THE LACMA, FINALLY

How I’ve missed museums and galleries! I visited not once, but twice since its re-opening because I loved the Yoshitomo Nara exhibit so much. (More on that, soon). Just when I thought I missed New York City, Los Angeles reminded me of all it has to offer, too.

And last, but certainly not least:

GETTING THE FIRST PFIZER DOSE

Slowly but surely, the world is opening up again. It feels strange—foreign, even—but the thought of finally exploring this new city of mine is thrilling. A new chapter is on the horizon: here’s to something different, not normalcy. Better, not backward.

An awakening.

.   .   .

xx