{"id":1591,"date":"2011-11-03T10:00:32","date_gmt":"2011-11-03T14:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abitcoquettish.wordpress.com\/?p=1591"},"modified":"2015-08-22T23:26:00","modified_gmt":"2015-08-22T23:26:00","slug":"how-to-be-sexy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kimberlypearl.co\/blog\/how-to-be-sexy\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be “Sexy”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I talk about sexy a lot. I overuse it. Sexy this<\/em>, sexy that<\/em>. Truth is, I like sexy<\/strong>, and I’m never<\/em>\u00a0ashamed (or ever embarrassed) to express it through dress (though I err on the conservative side). But what is<\/em>\u00a0sexy?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sexy could<\/em> be a plunging neckline, a body-conscious LBD, a glossy lip paired with nude stilettos. It could<\/em>\u00a0be. It’s definitively sex\u2014without a doubt\u2014and if you feel empowered by those things, so be it. I do. It’s the 21st century; here’s to female sexuality and liberation. At last!<\/p>\n

BUT (before my mother and father have heart attacks reading the title of this post) think about this: a red dress may be femme fatale in every which way posible. Put it on the right girl and she’ll turn heads, yet when worn<\/em>\u00a0(do note the diction, here) on the girl who lacks confidence? She’s but another girl in the crowd, vying for attention.<\/p>\n

Don’t let the media fool you into believing the “right” lipstick or “right” hair is what makes<\/em>\u00a0you sexy. These things are meant to enhance what its already there<\/strong>. And unless you truly believe in yourself, it’s just another layer, another mask, another victim fallen to cleverly constructed advertising. Sexiness comes from within: it is innate<\/strong>\u00a0(much like personal style), and is exuded only through the way in which you carry yourself.<\/strong>\u00a0Sexiness is not defined by how you can alter your appearance; it is how you express yourself. It is a part<\/em>\u00a0of who you are.<\/p>\n

Sexiness is as viable in a pair of yoga pants as it is in an\u00a0Herv\u00e9 L\u00e9ger (or an approximation by Express<\/a>, but we live for the aspirational!). Clich\u00e9, yes, but true.<\/p>\n

\"rosie-huntington-whitley_msp2\"<\/p>\n

Never belittle yourself<\/strong>. Modesty and constant self-deprecation are two different things. Embrace your intelligence, your wit. Don’t underestimate yourself or your potential. What you can offer to the table, to conversation. It’s no longer the forties or fifties where etiquette handbooks advise women to be seen and not heard. As the woman’s woman puts it:<\/p>\n

\n

“A real feminist doesn’t apologize for her beauty. You can be a sexy, beautiful woman and<\/em>\u00a0be the smartest person in the room.”<\/p>\n

\u2014Olivia Wilde, to Marie Claire<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Perhaps it makes you intimidating. Perhaps.<\/em>\u00a0But you cannot argue against it’s utter empowerment. If a man (or woman) is put off by it, he isn’t even worth it. It’s that simple. A beautiful but vapid face lasts just as long as a lit candle; one with wit and joie de vivre<\/em>\u00a0is interesting. Rare. One of a kind. Intelligence, opinion, and philosophy are sexy<\/strong>. You have a head on your shoulders: chin up, mes ch\u00e9ries<\/em>. It’s there for a reason.<\/p>\n

Smile, and laugh<\/strong>. Genuinely.<\/em>\u00a0Be lighthearted, throw your head back, stop thinking and just laugh<\/em>. For centuries classical art has portrayed women as the surveyed and<\/em>\u00a0the surveyor (John Berger, Ways of Seeing<\/em><\/a>): for too long we’ve been reduced to an object of visual pleasure, where were also too<\/em>\u00a0aware of how we look and how we appear to others. Stop thinking, and just do.<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0Squinty eyes? Laugh lines? A wide mouth? Who’s looking? Throw away self-consciousness. Laugh, be you.<\/p>\n

Which goes hand in hand with this idea of imitating what is perceived<\/em>\u00a0as sexy. Hands on hips, arched back, pouty lips. Retaking photographs until you find one fit for you default for whatever social media profile out thtere. I’ll say it one last time: STOP<\/strong>. Don’t overthink it! you’re taking pictures to capture<\/em>\u00a0the memory of that amazing night out with your girlfriends. Smile genuinely, be carefree. It’s that<\/em>\u00a0attitude which emanates. At your most vulnerable, natural state, you are at your most beautiful and confident. And thus, at your sexiest.<\/strong> I have and will always continue to maintain that the uncontrived will always be far more attractive than a modeled pose.\u00a0Trust.<\/em><\/p>\n

Less is more<\/strong>. Remember: clothes are meant to enhance, not to mask whatever you deem an “imperfection,” nor detract from you.<\/em>\u00a0True art in dressing well is leaving more to the imagination<\/strong>\u00a0(which is, coincidentally, the credo of any coquette). Attention is lovely, but there are different kinds. How you portray and represent yourself is evident in how you dress<\/strong>.\u00a0Do you value your importance and self-worth? Then put away the cleavage; don’t manipulate your own<\/em>\u00a0body and utilize it as a tool<\/em>. Your body is a temple it<\/strong>. Worship it. Respect it, and you will only gain respect in return.<\/strong><\/p>\n

. \u00a0 . \u00a0 .<\/p>\n

x<\/p>\n

{image via<\/a>}<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I talk about sexy a lot. I overuse it. Sexy this, sexy that. Truth is, I like sexy, and I’m never\u00a0ashamed (or ever embarrassed) to express it through dress (though I err on the conservative side). But what is\u00a0sexy? Sexy could be a plunging neckline, a body-conscious LBD, a glossy lip paired with nude stilettos. It could\u00a0be. It’s definitively sex\u2014without a doubt\u2014and if you feel empowered by those things, so be it. I do. It’s the 21st century; here’s to female sexuality and liberation. At last! BUT (before my mother and father have heart attacks reading the title of this post) think about this: a red dress may be femme fatale in every which way posible. Put it on the right girl and she’ll turn heads, yet when worn\u00a0(do note the diction, here) on the girl who lacks confidence? She’s but another girl in the crowd, vying for attention. Don’t let the media fool you into believing the “right” lipstick or “right” hair is what makes\u00a0you sexy. These things are meant to enhance what its already there. And unless you truly believe in yourself, it’s just another layer, another mask, another victim fallen to cleverly constructed advertising. Sexiness comes from…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"full-width-content","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,5,10,27],"tags":[698,320,503,531],"class_list":{"0":"post-1591","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-advice","7":"category-beauty","8":"category-feminism","9":"category-philosophy","10":"tag-girl-talk","11":"tag-how-to","12":"tag-pearls-of-wisdom","13":"tag-quotes","14":"entry","15":"has-post-thumbnail"},"yoast_head":"\nHow to Be "Sexy" \u2022 A Bit Coquettish<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I talk about sexy a lot. 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