Five Things (11.12.21)

A short list. 

1. Hot coffee. Instant, for gratification that hits the spot the moment caffeine is needed. More sweet than bitter, with the dullness of impatience. Sipped slowly, enjoyed quickly; it pairs well with early morning readings and midday meetings.

2. To be so close yet so far from the glamour—the LACMA Art + Film Gala (presented by Gucci) and the Gucci Love Parade—has me questioning if I’m even in the same plane as this other, shinier world. It’s as though I’m living in a parallel universe (which in most ways, I suppose I am): I can look from behind a glass screen, but can’t touch.

3. Reading voraciously again. This time, it’s not an endeavor driven by ambition or boredom, but a need run by nostalgia. The holidays are just around the corner (which explains the urge, I suppose), and I can’t suppress the longing for uncomplicated days. (Unsurprisingly, my favorites were ones where mornings were spent at the library poring over what seemed like neverending shelves, then settling back home with a knee-high stack of books to read by high noon.)

4. I haven’t felt beautiful in a while—whatever that means—and it perhaps has to do with some combination of fluctuating weight, a lack of preening (which paradoxically, is a perk of working remotely), and the incessant inner battle between wanting to be desirable and understanding the facade and darkness in which it’s rooted. This struggle between self-cultivated pride and pride derived from external validation is ongoing; it requires inner work, I know, but sometimes—just sometimes—something superficial will do. I treated myself to a new look with no particular occasion or reason in mind: a turquoise blue two-piece (top, skirt) from The Line by K, a brand I turn to time and time again when I need to feel understood by a woman who celebrates women.

5. The ability to feel alone together is crucial in a relationship.

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xx