Five Things (7.10.20)

Wearing: Miguelina Gambaccini (around the house, of course)

1. The number of people who refuse to wear a mask isn’t just infuriating, it’s dangerous. Whether it’s an act of defiance “on principle” or if it’s a misguided belief that corona “won’t affect them,” the underlying reason is the same. Our best defense against the continued spread of COVID-19 boils down to a simple act of precaution for all those around us—but we keep failing. Consideration, it seems, isn’t a priority within our American values.

And that’s putting it kindly.

I was always aware of the pervasive self-centeredness here. I saw the differences growing up as a second-generation kid, watching my parents reconcile between the culture they grew up with and the one they chose to raise us in. (It goes without saying that) I am grateful for the privileges I’ve been afforded as an American, but my duality is the very thing that has given me perspective. For my parents, assimilating to the language and living with daily racism (both micro and macro aggressions) have been easy, but understanding the egocentricity is an impossible feat for them—even 30 years later. Yes, there’s strength in putting yourself first, but when self-respect is confused for selfishness, the idea of serving me, now explains why there’s a loose sense of community and lack of forward-thinking.

There’s rot at the root and the only way towards progress is a reset. Though I am wary of seeing major changes in my lifetime, I have faith in this new generation of outspoken warriors who are learning from the mistakes of every generation—including mine—that came before.

2. Not all is horrible, though. These last few months (and four years, frankly) have held up a mirror so our nation can finally face the ugliness we’ve tried to conceal. We’ve been forced to see the truth: injustices have always existed, only now they’re illuminated. No amount of clinging to odes of freedom can cover the cracks.

There is no more hiding. It’s terrifying, but with this painful process comes relief, too: it’s all in the open now. When there is light, there is reflection—and with introspection comes growth. Change has begun and so long as we are resilient in championing justice, it is on the horizon.

3. A source of light for me has been “The Process” with Noor Tagouri, a podcast (and IGTV series) which I binged at an insatiable rate. I cannot get enough of Tagouri’s vision and the voices shes amplifies; what she shares is a gift.

Take a listen if you haven’t already. My favorite episodes so far include her conversation with designer Phillip Lim and more recently, her interview with creative director (genius) Ruba Abu-Nimah.

4. I’m still making coffee at home and it has been a grounding ritual. As someone who once thought outsourcing tasks (like, buying coffee through a drive-through) could make me a more efficient—and therefore better—human, this one small habit has reminded me that being present is more important than winning at productivity.

5. Just yesterday I caught myself apologizing for setting boundaries by dismissing my reaction as impatience. It took a full day to realize that I was simply standing my ground: as a woman, patience is not only a desirable virtue, but one that is expected. Creating space for yourself, however, is categorically “bitter” or “cold.” I needed to remind myself that there is a distinction between the two. Patience is the consideration and empathy given when there is a foundation of mutual respect. Unrequited respect with the expectation of infinite “patience” is an act of entitlement; it’s inconsiderate at best, abusive at its core.

There is a line. Set the boundary, especially at work. We owe it to ourselves—especially when our energy and creativity are at stake.

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xx