The Review: Lime Crime ‘Coquette’ Lipstick

Frivolity and consumption at its finest.

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In a moment of weakness, I ordered a Lime Crime lipstick. Totally ridiculous in the sense that I am, admittedly, quite snobbish about my makeup—I prefer the luxe and sophisticated for the sake of cohesion (I’m not kidding when I say that I’m a bit crazed about consistency in aesthetics. The same idea applies to almost everything else, as everything we do and own are extensions of ourselves!). That said, however, I suppose everyone needs something out of character to keep them sane. And interesting.

This would be the lipstick in question. Please look at it and tell me it isn’t all sorts of beautiful.

Perhaps I’m biased. I swooned a little when I saw how perfectly appropriate and relevant the name of the lipstick was: Coquette. Eee!

It’s a vegan, pale blushed nude, but reads a bit warmer on me. Everyone needs a porn-star nude in their collection  (!), and I’m a firm believer in buying things with fun names and, on the rare occasion, buying something with ridiculously sweet packaging. I’d like to think I’m mature for my age, (go figure), but sometimes kitschy things do wonders in making us all happy. I’m a girl. I’m also human. What can I say?

But packaging aside for a moment—let’s focus on the actual product, s’il vous plait. One swipe imparts a truly opaque, nude color. How many nude lipsticks can actually do that sans chalkiness?

And while I couldn’t see myself wearing such a stark nude everyday (I’ve been faithful to my-lips-but-better shades)—hence the porn-star nude reference—once used, this color really is beautiful. Versatile. It’s my first venture into the nude territory, and I’ve found that when paired with a mauve-toned lip liner and dabbed on precariously, the effect is exactly what the ultimate nude should do: brighten the complexion. It also makes me looked tanner. Always a good thing, until it’s time to re-apply.

I’ll admit to being the slightest embarrassed to pull out the tube from my (future) Lulu Guinness “Never Enough Lipsticks” purse even within the privacy of a women’s bathroom. I’m not easily embarrassed, but it’s but a bright, almost fluorescent purple-pink tube much like Essie’s Splash of Grenadine with a holographic unicorn wrap-around.

Talk about discreet.

(Thank goodness Coquette’s lasting power is incroyable; the need for touch-ups are few and far between.)

And as unfathomably un-me as this tube is, I’ve always wanted a Lime Crime lipstick since the brand’s debut. Granted I am a sucker for kitschy names and little stories behind a brand or each of their products, but I suppose Lime Crime’s concept of fairy tales and Lolita meet a unicorn sprinkle-fest meets an explosion in Pantene’s color factory spoke to some psychedelic alter ego of mine. It’s all sorts of brilliant, marketing wise, feeding the desires of a childhood or otherworldly fantasy. In a society where the norm is a black RM by Roland Mouret dress and a nondescript swipe of MAC’s Viva Glam V lipstick, we crave the ridiculous and imaginative – which brings us back to the importance of indulging in the unconventional to keep us balanced, sane, and content. So long as it’s within reason, of course. Case in point: as much as I craved owning the creamsicle orange and purples and hot, hot pink lipsticks, sensible little me reprimanded my magpie self that $16 for a lipstick I’d never wear?

I am not that crazy, I promise you. Before swatching the lipstick, I figured a nude would a more practical alternative to the aforementioned, outrageous colors.

But aside from the name, it was the story behind “Coquette” that ultimately sold me:

“It was a typical city morning. Citizens grappled for their first cups of coffee, buses sighed and hissed from stop to stop, and pigeons discussed the latest street fashions. Even against this familiar murmur, Becky knew something was different. She opened her eyes, then her window, and from the height of her 8th floor apartment she saw towering mountains of heart-shaped candy boxes piled past her window. “Oh no,” Becky thought, “I guess I shouldn’t have blown so many kisses yesterday!” But that thought quickly faded as she stroked more lipstick over her lips. Soon she was back at her old game, blowing kisses out the window as the ever-increasing piles of candy threatened to topple. Becky wasn’t just flirting with all the boys; she was flirting with danger.”

If only you knew how much of a sucker I am for background stories behind material things. They make things less, well, an object, and more of a personality. A lifestyle.

Why This Should Be in Your Bag:
 “Coquette” actually is perfectly wearable for an everyday, pinky-toned nude. It has fantastic opacity, a creamy texture and long-lasting formula – elements that have rightfully made it comparable to cult classics.

It’s limited edition, babe. Pick it up, maintenant, toute de suite, here. Or A.S.A.P. for you non-Francophiles.

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xx