On Self-Love + Learning to Love Yourself

1. Write everything down. There’s something about committing thoughts to paper that solidifies things. Writing makes whatever it is we’re feeling or experiencing real—and once things are tangible, they become less inapproachable, and more human. It is the unknown that we deny and fear. Face it, and you regain control.

2. Set up an early wakeup call. I used think I wasn’t a morning person. After a year of (forcing myself) to get in the habit of waking up before seven, there is nothing I love more now. It’s as if the morning has been reserved for me, after which I can go about designating the rest of the day to work, school, or whatever errands begging to be to run without feeling as if I cheated myself of me-time.

Every day is a new beginning. Consider the morning is your fresh start. Watch the sun rise. Practice yoga or pilates (I do a combination of Pilates and Tracy Anderson mat exercises). Shower, exfoliate, pamper yourself from head to toe. Read a magazine or indulge in a book. It’s amazing how peaceful the world seems in the morning; it’s a whole other world before the rest of the population wakes up.

Claim that time as your own.

3. Re-invest and prioritize. The more you write, the more you begin to realize what makes you happy. Cut out the things that bring you down—i.e., anything involving mindlessness or lack of productivity. That includes: gossip magazines, show re-runs, reality TV. Think about how much time you spend doing those things and how they don’t benefit you in any way. Devote that time elsewhere instead. How about on yourself, for starters? You’ve got one life to live, and it’s your life—not theirs—that matters.

4. Learn to say yes and no. Say yes more. Say no more. Don’t be the Jane of all trades; be good at what you do know. Spend time on the things you love. If you’re not 100% devoted or passionate, don’t bother.

It’s that simple.

5. Be minimalist. Minimalism is not the deprivation; rather, it is the practice of restraint and making the most of what you have. Through it you gain an understanding of the importance of prioritization, the value of time and energy, and the power of investment. Live elegantly, and live beautifully. Less is more.

6. Seek beauty everyday.

“Love of beauty is Taste. And the creation of beauty is Art.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Humans are driven by aesthetic and moved by beauty; no matter who we are or where we’re from, a sunset is universally breathtaking. Thus remember to (once again) live beautifully, and live elegantly. Eat wholesomely. Curate (not collect) a beautiful wardrobe. Submerge yourself in artfully crafted words of a favorite author. Surround yourself in beauty and you’ll begin to see it wherever you go. A life inspired is a life that can inspire. Seek inspiration always, and you’ll find happiness there.

7. Declare a technology-free day. There’s no doubt that technology continues to better the dissemination and democratization of information; for that reason alone I’m its biggest champion. And yet there exists a downside where our gadgets and gizmos get the better of us, and we lose touch with reality.

Go without your laptop for a day (it’s both nerve-wracking and refreshing for a social media/blog junkie like me). Shut off your phone. Don’t even think about cheating for an Insta-snap. Live in the moment without feeling bound to narrate for a friend or some stranger following you from miles away. Live for you. Make magic and create memories. Your brain is a miraculous thing; it doesn’t need a Facebook album to document life’s greatest moments.

Always remember this: technology is fleeting. Memories, however, are forever.

8. Stop living vicariously through others. This piggy-backs off #7. We’re a society that feeds off of obsessing over other people’s lives; tabloids are the very prime example of this cultural phenomenon. Nowadays it’s shifted to the Internet: we’re constantly re-blogging, re-pinning, or saving these beautiful images of magical sunsets, budding romances or pretty girls in great dresses.

Whatever happened to creating these moments? To be an innocent bystander and passive observer fails to enrich our own lives. The only way in which you can have your own beautiful moments is by getting up, going out, and creating them.

Actions speak louder than words, and more than a photograph ever could. Carpe diem. Seize the day.

9. Focus on your body. Forget body image. Hone in on just the physical, and nothing else. We’re given these bodies for a reason; they’re not just a vessel or entity that’s meant to merely exist. Bodies are meant to be used, touched, explored. Bodies are a beautiful, beautiful thing. They’re an instrument of power, of peace, of beauty, of love. Engage it. Use it. Look at it. Learn it. Love it. Be inspired and be awed by the things your body can do. Don’t be afraid of it.

10. Be a woman, and be proud of it. Read a book on feminism and learn not to fear the word. Take a hot yoga class before buying yourself a delicate set of lingerie. Sign up for a kick-boxing or Taekwondo class. It’s about exploring: we’re bendy, beautiful creatures, but we’re strong, too. Fight, lift weights, run. Wear a power suit. Try on all sorts of dresses—ethereal, romantic, body conscious, sleek, androgynous. How do you feel in each one?

The point is this: embrace all the possibilites of who you are and who you could be. We’re dynamic, multi-faceted people, and within us is a myriad of potential waiting to be recognized. Don’t let society tell you otherwise.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

—Oscar Wilde

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