What to Wear: The First Date

I received an e-mail from one of my lovely readers, Helen:

Hello, my beloved La Couturier, Excuse my English, because I’m not a native speaker and it’s not perfect. But soddenly it came to my mind that I can address my question to you. So. I can always find what to put on to some parrty, but it’s always a huge problem for me to pick up an appropriate oufit for the date – especially the first one! How to be seductive, but not vulgar? Is there any universal option? Please give me an advice! However if you are not interested, I can understand and I will go on readin’ your blog anyway!!!

P.S. I just adore it! You are doin’ a great job and keep goin’!!! From Ukraine with love, Helen.

Helen, darling, you are too sweet. And of course I will answer your question! First dates do always cause the most fretting, hair-pulling, and panicking for most girls. It’s quite the problematic situation with the nerves – so dressing to feel your best can help with remaining confident (the boy’s already yours, hon!) even through those slightly awkward moments. Wear something that you love.

And of course, we ladies always want to impress the men on that first date; seduce them, without seeming too aggressive or trashy; looking impeccable without coming off as trying too hard – you know, the lot. So yes, you can wear that fitted dress or top – but if it’s too tight for comfort or makes you feel rather exposed, don’t wear it. It’s already an stressful situation; don’t make yourself feel any more uncomfortable! Not to mention: leave a little for the imagination, no? 😉

So first things first: where is this first date taking place? Consider the setting so you know how to dress: is it a casual date (movies, grabbing lunch, a walk, etc.) or something a bit more formal (dinner, formal dinner, etc.)? For a date during the day or a casual meeting, you can wear what you normally wear – just amped up a teensy bit. Evening or formal dates are more exciting; bring out the dress, girls!

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Day/Casual

Keep it simple and sweet. Stick with the basics; nothing out of the ordinary or un-you. After all, we wouldn’t want to look like we tried too hard, would we? For pointers, those of you who have a copy of the current issue of U.S. Elle, should definitely read the article, “I Want You To Want Me” [edit: thanks for the link, Rita!] – it gives great starters for a sure-to-attract-male-sexiness in what you wear (and is quite possibly the most humorous article I’ve read yet! For those of you who don’t have that copy & don’t know where to start…

• If you don’t know where to start, limit the color palette. (Most) Men recognize fashion if it is black, white, red, or, occasionally, gray. These are the boldest colors of colors. And universally friendly!
• Jeans are your best friend. A date doesn’t mean you must go out of your way to wear  a dress or skirt in unbearably cold weather! Them boys like tight jeans – but don’t automatically reach for the skinniest of skinnies! Find a pair of jeans that fit your body type (skinny jeans aren’t for everyone!). If they’re somewhat fitted to accentuate your curves, i.e., the booty, your date will be quite happy.
• Keep it simple! Fitted, V-neck tees, with just a teensy glimpse of a cleavage is incredibly sexy. Any variation of a v-neck (or scoop neck, perhaps?) is perfect; cashmere sweaters, black/white tees, etc. The GQ staff advises this (and if the men say so, then I think it’s a sure winner!)
• Heels. They’ve always been an iconic symbol of classic femininity and sex (think Marilyn Monroe!) The very article had quoted men saying: “No man will complain if a woman wears heels!” I wish I could tell you exactly why, but I believe that question must be answered by one of the male species. But what I do know is common knowledge: heels elongate the legs to create the illusion of a perfect proportion of torso to legs. And the give its wearer a hip-swinging gait.
• Natural Makeup.  GQ editors claim that men like women who look natural. So a bit of beige, brown, or bronze shadow with brown liner and a bit of mascara is enough for the eyes. Chapstick, or a light, sheer gloss in a yummy flavor is perfect. And you can skimp on blush; it’s inevitable to flush a bit on this first date, darling!

• Leave your hair down. A head of long, full hair makes a man happy. My guess as to why? I have none. Once again, if a man says so, then it must be so. The reasons will forever be unknown to the female population.

Casual dresses and skirts are perfectly fine too; just be sure they aren’t too low cut or too short; the most flattering length would be (oh, those school codes!) from your fingertips to an inch above the knee. Wear a little cardigan or opaque tights if you’re afraid the ensemble is a bit too risqué for your taste (or for a first date!). Slightly sheer tops are always super cheeky; but do balance it with a higher neckline or a conservative cut. Have fun with what you wear! And don’t forget: in that purse of yours, make sure you bring anything you need to touch up over the course of the date: concealer, lipgloss, mascara – the necessities.

Evening/Formal

It’s time to bring out that special LBD; but once again, I must mention that you should shy away from the shorter hemlines or risqué cuts. You want your date to notice you for you; not wholly for your assets. That said, mid-length dresses with sweetheart necklines, spaghetti straps, halter necklines, etc. are perfectly suitable. Slightly shorter dresses should be paired with black tights to cover a bit of skin. Think simple – after all, simple is chic!

During such dates, slightly more intense make up is perfectly seductive: smokey eyes in browns or grays are truly smoldering, when paired with baby pink or nude lips. Be sure to blend well so the shadows don’t seem too harsh or overwhelming. And I personally would advise sticking to matte shades; anything too shimmery or glittery (Urban Decay!) can be a bit too distracting on that first date. But do draw attention to the eyes and lips – they are quite the important features on a woman.

Or, you can opt for a nice top, pants, & heels combination. Black pants, fitted, of course, paired with heels are a definite must. A fancier top or blouse will work very well; I particularly think sheer or slightly metallic fabrics work well. One shouldered pieces, like this ruched, Grecian top are gorgeous. Loose, off the shoulder blouses are beautiful as well. I would love to be sipping a little glass of champagne in this outfit, smiling coquettishly…

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Final Tips

• Balance. I stress this a lot; but do bear with me! I believe it’s one of the most important thing to keep in mind when doing everything. If you were to choose a dress with a shorter hemline, opaque tights will tone it down. If you chose pants, a slightly revealing top would be okay – it would be juxtaposed by the concealing of pants. If you want a hint of a cleavage, be sure you cover your arms (if it’s a sleeveless top); make sure the front of the top/dress is conservative if you choose a low-backed dress; etc. Makeup too – emphasize the eyes, simply highlight the lips. Balance is key!
• Pack the essentials in a clutch. It’s so much lighter & easier! Chapstick, lipgloss/lipstick, concealer, mascara, etc. And supposedly (according to Cosmopolitan) men assume that women with big bags are either high-maintenance or come with baggage (literally or figuratively).
• Oh and darling, never forget a spritz of your favorite perfume! Spritz a bit wherever you want to be kissed (as the great Coco Chanel had once said). I swear by Victoria’s Secret Heavenly: all of my male friends do love it!

xoxo,

La C.