Confessions: Secret Single Behaviors (SSB)

I’ve brunched, I’ve mimosa’d, and now I’m typing (for better or worse). In fact, I’m feeling awfully chatty today, so let’s talk about those SSBs, ladies.

(Not sure what I’m talking about? There was an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie was nervous about Aidan moving in; she didn’t want to let go—or reveal—the guilty-pleasure or single-life habits meant to be done in the comfort of complete privacy. It was thus called Secret Single Behaviors.)

Luckily for me, I’m very much single and can carry on enjoying every secret single behavior, however guilty, however embarassing. These are a few:

• Not washing my hair for a few days because (1) too much shampoo-ing is stripping, (2) third-day hair makes for a mean slick pony, and (3) I’m just lazy as f.
• Late night snacking. Or just over-indulging, period. When I’m hungry or PMS-ing or just in the mood to stuff my face, I’ll happily sit with a bag of Snap Pea Crisps or eat four mangos in one sitting. I’m also known to down half a gallon of green smoothie in the morning (after which I rock the Buddha belly for the next 45 minutes).
• Analyzing every pore or hair follicle on my face for a good 20 minutes, after which I’ll diagnose the situation and squeeze, extract, or mask to my heart’s content.
• Pretending I’m a music video girl right before a night out. This is the stuff that no one’s supposed to ever witness.
• Vegging out (with aforementioned Snap Pea Crisps) and binge-watching an entire show because I don’t watch TV normally.

‘Fess up, ladies. We want the juicy bits.

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