Things I Learned in 2020

1. Empathy and compassion are the roots of a thriving, thoughtful community. Without the two, a cesspool of selfishness and hate has the freedom to breed. 2020 has reflected a mirror to the latter and inspired the former—but still, there is an imbalance that is in desperate need of healing. This isn’t a revelation by any means, but a thought written out loud because I still feel powerless: what can we do? What can I do?

2. A case study in mind over matter (unofficially conducted by yours truly) has proven that there is weight behind the sage sayings of the (forever unknown) omniscient they. On a whim, I decided that I’d make the most of the first lockdown by reading one book every day for as long as the stay-at-home order was in effect. I kept to this promise and refused to compromise. (Doggedly, might I add; a promise to yourself is the most important commitment of all.) Here’s what I learned: yes, it’s possible to finish one book every day. It’s also possible to uphold a goal sans self-sabotage, so long as you hold yourself accountable. It’s possible.

3. What other people think of you is none of your business. If you listen to the noise, you’ll lose sight of what you want—and who you are.

4. Leaving a toxic environment, no matter how successful you are in spite of it or the amount of potential you see in it, is indubitably the right thing to do. As women, we cannot allow ourselves to fall for this romanticized notion of fixing what’s broken or worse, powering through it as a display of perseverance. It is not our job to tolerate dysfunction: it is our right to flee, to rejuvenate, and never look back.

5. Hindsight is 20/20 indeed.

6. I have too much stuff. Too many things—albeit beautiful, thoughtfully curated things—that take up space. (Bags, clothes, I’m looking at you; books have earned their place.) So much so that all this stuff isn’t just a one-time expense, but now becomes a burden to find space for (especially when relocating cross-country). A reminder of how bound I am to the material. There is no freedom, or at least less agility, with so much stuff.

7. Long-distance is manageable with the right person. To whoever is reading: I hope you take comfort in knowing that.

8. Plants do make people happy. Spaces, too.

9. All my life I wanted to be someone, but after 15 years of chasing success (as defined by a traditional, corporate-driven culture), I’ve realized I don’t want to be someone: just me. (I should’ve listened to my parents all along.) Life can be simple and beautiful.

10. Coffee tastes better at home. Even if it’s just hot water and two heaping scoops of Trader Joe’s Instant Cold Brew.

11. Changing your life is easier than it seems, or feels. It just takes a leap of faith.

Happy New Year!

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xx