Heartbreak Hotel

For dearest Molly.

Dealing with heartbreak is hardly easy; mending your broken heart is even more difficult. Sometimes all you want to do is seclude yourself from everything, immersing yourself in an empty void of loneliness parallel to the one you feel in your heart. Numbing your own feelings and ignoring what happened seems the only way to forget it – but instead, you are forcing yourself to stay where you are and preventing yourself – and your heart – from moving on. As painful as heartbreak is, it is inevitable – disappointment does exist in this not-so-perfect world of ours. It is only human to feel the hurt and betrayal; to scream, to cry yourself to sleep, to be angry. Those are real, healthy emotions.

But as strange as it seems, that hurt helps you grow, allowing you to become a stronger person. Of course there is always the possibility of heartbreak to impact someone in a negative way, depending on the magnitude of the situation or his/her personality. But it is more often than not that a heartbreak leaves a positive mark on someone. The pain is only a part of the growing process; the rest is self realization, a finding of happiness on your own, and indulging in that single status.

Writing this is rather difficult for me, I must admit – perhaps that’s why I’ve put it off for just a bit. I have not yet gone through a heartbreak or a breakup. So this is one article I write not from personal experience, but from what I have been exposed to. I have seen friends fall in love, then fall out of love. Or fall in love and have it end with tears of hurt and confusion. Thus established, I shall write of what I’ve done to help and perhaps how I would potentially handle the mending of a heartbreak if I should be in that position.

Immerse yourself not in loneliness, but with ones you love.

Plan outings with friends or a sleepover with the girls – your friends have always been there for you through whenever and wherever. They will be the first to be by your side, offering you all the support and comfort you need to get through this. So let them. A bit of retail therapy helps, of course, since it does (1) take your mind off of the recent heartbreak (2) a little shopping always helps (3) spotting cuties is always a plus. And gossiping away with the girls is one of the best ways to vent and let out those feelings. You can cry, scream, blow your nose. Guaranteed, your girls will be there for you. So don’t push them away.

Write.

Even if you’ve never kept a journal, it is the perfect time to simply grab a sheet or open up a new Word document. Write/type as much and as long as you need to do let all those negative feelings out of your system. I do know this: if I’m ever feeling down or angry at something/someone, as I type or write away, (as weird as this is) it seems that all those feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion flow out of me and onto that paper/screen. They need not be pent-up within you.

Indulge.

Yes gluttony is bad, and comfort food isn’t always the best way to relieve yourself of sadness, but a little bit of indulgence here and there isn’t too much of a bad thing. Pampering yourself allows you to love yourself. Being selfish allows you to realize that you don’t need him/her to make you feel special. Buy a box of truffles, treat yourself to a little present. Why not?

Take a walk.

If the weather permits, that is. On the western hemisphere it is getting warmer (finally!). Wake up early, grab a coat and a banana (bananas release endorphins!), and take a walk. No iPod, no phone – nothing. Just you and the morning air, and a few critters and cars that happen to be awake. It’s the best time to do some thinking without any interruption. And a breath of fresh air always clears the mind. If the weather is terrible, or just plain cold, walk around in a museum. Art is a beautiful thing; allow yourself to be surrounded by it. And museums are always quiet – also another perfect environment for thinking.

Do some yoga. Exercise. Dance.

Why? Because yoga relaxes the mind, the soul, and the body. And exercising (jogging, sports, dancing) releases endorphins. Join a dance class for a day; allowing your body to move to the music is rather relaxing. If I ever am upset or mad before dancing, those feelings always end up leaving rather magically. All I feel is the music.

Embrace being single.

Because when you’re single, you have no commitments. Meaning yes, you can finally flirt with the adorable boy at your favorite coffee shop knowing that there is no one who will hold you back in giving him your number.

.   .   .

I do hope this helps, dear Molly, and anyone else who is in need of this. It’s nothing new, ingenious, or original, quite honestly. All of what you’ve heard, but hopefully, is still helpful in compiling what I do know in one place.

Bisous,

La C.