The “A Bit Coquettish” Manifesto

A Bit Coquettish is a lot of things: a mélange of things important to girls and women alike, and in essence, a pretty good reflection of what goes on in my head. I can’t quite categorize ABC as anything specific. I like to think it’s multifaceted (labels are limiting), covering fashion, lifestyle, beauty. It’s life lessons, musings,  advice. It’s often haphazard and strewn with silly things. But regardless of the article at hand, I always offer a whole lot of perspective (I can’t help it, blame it on being born an Aries). It was impossible to keep my writing strictly fashion-based. I don’t love fashion. I can’t. But I indulge in it.

Is fashion frivolous? Yes, and no. I sometimes rant on about the inner debate. But it is far more dinner table friendly than politics. For the record, I’m a Democrat/liberal by choice (and by birth). Should that deter you from reading further? So be it. Behold, the manifesto.

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My initial intention when venturing into the blogosphere was to create a strictly fashion-based blog. The only thing that hasn’t changed since my very first blog, La Couturier, was my mission to inspire in some way or another; that credo remains as is. All else has changed. It has since evolved into focusing more intently on the importance of style rather than current fashions, which made more sense on my end: I’ve never liked the idea of trends, nor was I too keen on the concept of disposable fashion. Consistency, mes chéries! Know who you are and where you stand in all aspects of life, clothing inclusive. I hate waffling and staccato – cohesiveness and fluidity, always. (Unless it comes to ordering food…)

And as much as Boy #3 and that shiny new tube of Yves Saint Laurent lipstick may make you happy for the time being, keep in mind that they’re only the extras. The sprinkles on the cake, as the saying goes, are essential for that bit of flair and finishing touch, but not crucial in determining whether or not the actual cake tastes delicious (be forewarned: I can get ridiculously cheesy at times). So here, in this petit nook in the Internet, is more perspective, advice, and emphasis on self-confidence and self-empowerment.

Why style?

I believe in cultivating style because that—style—is who you are. Start on the surface. Fake it ’til you make it. Chip your way into your core, your self. Find the things which inspire you and let them set fire to your soul.

But why is style so fashion-oriented? Style is etiquette. Your perceptions. Your voice. (Hello, “writing styles” ring a bell?) Your daily rituals. Who you are—your culture, your background. It’s effervescent and pervasive. It’s an extension of self, and the fashion aspect is a portion of it, and perhaps the most important in terms what matters in societal standards. But it’s how you wear it that ultimately counts.

“The essence of style is how you live your life; what you do with your life.”

—Oscar de la Renta

The way you choose to live your life is a defining factor of who you are. I love aesthetics. I love beauty. I live on the feeling of always being inspired. And so, I try to bring it into all I do—in the things I own, the things I read, what I surround myself in. It’s how I am and who I am.

Some women choose not to “be involved” in fashion as a statement—but embracing fashion is not a rejection of feminism. You have to care about how you look to a certain extent; if not for first impression’s sake, then for you. How much do you value yourself? You take care of the things you love (say, your beloved laptop). You dote on those you love (family, friends, kids, etc.). Does the same not apply to yourself? Start with self-love & indulgence. But the fact of the matter is this: first impressions do count. That first look—first blink—is everything. Take advantage of it.

“I think thinking is stylish. Looking is stylish. Culture is stylish. I think you need to be inspired by something in order to be stylish.”

—Isabella Blow

I believe that minimalism and the complete rejection of frivolity in the extremity can be depressing. Miserable, even. What makes the human race distinct is our emotions: as human beings, it is inevitable to be moved by aesthetics. We thrive on beauty. We dote, observe, drink it in to satiate and feed our souls. Why do we dream as we do? We are artists, whether we keep it to ourselves or have made a profession out of it. If that handbag makes you happy, if that tube of lipstick makes you smile, why not? Why punish a desire? It is no one’s place to judge your decisions.

But of course, all must be done with pragmatism. There is a line between reason and pure materialism. I can always justify my purchases and consider myself financially literate. Be aware. Keep tabs on what you’ve purchased, how much you’ve spent. Budget. Pre-plan. Do you absolutely need it? Or simply want it? There’s a viable difference between that and an impulsive need to fill an emotional void as a means of distracting ourselves from the real problem.

Learn to balance the practical and the desirable. Smart shopping is sexy. It shows you’re a woman who knows what she wants and exactly when to get it. You are always in control of your desires – but also aren’t afraid to unleash them. Think like a coquette, always!

“A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition.”

—Gilbert K. Chesterton

I’m a realistic idealist. I believe in a lot of things. In women. In the practical and the ideal. In dressing for the job you want, the life you want. In never settling for less. In compromise. The power of lipstick and a great pair of heels. The importance of self-confidence, even if it takes faking it to make it. I believe in dancing with the soul, your very core. I believe in meditation and music and philosophy and self-indulgence in moderation.

Here’s to being a bit coquettish—living coquettishly and flirting with life.

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Where to start, you ask?

Admittedly, I write a lot. Sometimes I ramble. But these are the essentials (and most popular articles) on ABC:

• The essence of who I am & this blog. Flirting, and the power of it: Read How to be (a Bit) Coquettish, How to be Sexy & How to be a Little French Sexpot Like Mademoiselle Roitfeld for starters.
• Defining Style: Parts I, II & III. It’s important.
• Inspiration for women of all ages for a bit of self-empowerment: I Love Me Before Men, Single on Valentine’s Day, Lead, Learn, Love, Wanting What You Can’t Have, On the 1950s Redux, Bustiers, & Sexuality, etc.
• How to Find Happiness and Keep It
• …want more? So greedy, you little minx. Browse the archives, search for something specific or explore via categories. I’m a bit of an organizational freak by default, so it’s all quite specific. Have fun & read away!

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xx